50DMC Day 26 – The most embarrassing movie in your collection

22 Jun

More info on The 50 Day Movie Challenge here and here.

I don’t think I’d really consider any of the films I own to be embarassing. Sure, some are crap, but those were bought on a whim and as such are nothing to feel ashamed about. And if a movie is good but might seem iffy to some, I’ll have no trouble explaining its merits.

But there are those that I personally wince at when my eyes fall on them on my DVD shelves. The 2003 movie Vlad, for instance. I didn’t mean to buy it, really. It was part of a 10-film horror box set that I only got because it was cheap and had A Tale of Two Sisters and the original Dawn of the Dead in it. The other eight movies turned out to be mostly varying degrees of bad, but Vlad in particular is a film I’ll always have to take into consideration when pondering the age old question of “worst film I’ve ever seen”. The story is some nonsense about a group of American students who travel to Romania to do some research on Vlad Tepes Dracula, and a necklace that might have the power to bring him back to life or something.

And it’s bad. Holy hell, is it bad. Not in the funny “earnest but failed attempt” kind of way. It’s like nobody was even trying to make something worthwhile with it. The film is never scary, never funny, never clever, never anything. There’s hardly even much blood or nudity to offer some kind of compensation for its lack of quality. Vlad is just a painfully dull mess of a film, completely void of redeeming qualities. The sole name value in it is Billy Zane, who’s totally slumming it and no doubt longing back to his glory days of making cameos in Zoolander. Nobody else in Vlad gives a crap about making a good movie, so why should he?

And to think I indirectly paid money to own this film on DVD. Yeah, I guess that is really embarassing, actually.

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Posted by on 22 June, 2011 in 50 Day Movie Challenge


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